When Adult Children Fight

Sibling rivalry is not something that just happens to children. Sometimes sibling rivalry only gets worse over time, not better. It's hard on the entire family to watch adults act worse than their children. Something that they should have outgrown years ago is still a problem; but why?

One reason for adult sibling rivalry is that one or both siblings never grew out of jealousy of the other. Maybe one child was better at childhood things like school, sports, and other activities and the other child feels inadequate and that continues into adulthood.

Another reason for the issues and fighting is that one child felt that the other received more love and attention than the other and now they feel as an adult they are better able to lash out at their sibling.

It is possible for things to get better between the siblings but that really takes a lof of work from both parties. The one creating the fights and drama has to be willing to admit what they are doing and why. The sibling who is the victim of the childish acts has to be willing to overlook and not escalate situations that will give their sibling the satisfaction of knowing their tactics are working.

In extreme cases of adult sibling rivalry, there is so much fighting and tension that any kind of family reunion or gathering is stressful to all and eventually the family will split apart. The sibling who has caused the trouble is actually glad to split the family and finally have the undivided attention of their parents and other family members.

Individual and family counseling is really needed to sort out the history of the family dynamic. There will have to be some honest communications in order to help heal old and new wounds so these siblings can co-exist within the family unit. Everyone will need to understand their part in how ill will was left unchecked to the point that these adults are still fighting over childish things.

I hope that anyone in this type of relationship can seek the help they need to start to heal themselves and their family for future generations. I don't always believe that it's possible for all parties to let go of anger and resentment they have carried so long, Everyone should have the healthiest relationships they can in their lives.

You can only bend so far without breaking. You can't be happy without being true to who you are and if that means removing yourself from a painful and stressful relationship with a sibling who either can't or won't move past childish animosities.That may be the best option for your future happiness.